Things the 68 year old Dolores says in Perv that sound like something I would say right now

(From Perv-A Love Story)

How do you young people say it? They ‘light your fire’?

I should be shocked but, accch… you kids today!

All you kids are comedians now. Well I got news for you, Mr. Jackie Mason.

If you’d let me finish, Walter Cronkite, you’d find out.

Believe me, there have been plenty of times I wanted to tell that b-rhymes-with-ditch what her brother the saint was really like.

Pardon my fran├žaise.

I say to him, “What in God’s name are you doing? It’s three o’clock in the afternoon.” What the time has to do with the price of tea in China, I don’t know.

Albert was a handsome man, but after fifty he got the jowls.

If he’s really God, he’ll send you a helicopter. He’ll call a cab…No way, Jose. If he’s God, he’ll get you an appointment with a hairdresser.

Once a perv, always a perv.